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My partner died two weeks ago. Trying to pull together a nice playlist

2019.05.27 18:15 tdbutler My partner died two weeks ago. Trying to pull together a nice playlist

As the title says I lost my partner two weeks ago. We had been together 7.5 years. You can read a little about him and I here. Also some in the comments in replying to questions.
I want to put together a playlist appropriate for having lost the love of one's life. Or celebrating having found it. He was much more into mellower classic rock like Supertramp, Moody Blues, etc., but was also into some pop and more current stuff like Arcade Fire, Fleet Foxes, Bastille. Me I'm more into the indie rock side of thinks, pushing into areas of heavier stuff, hip-hop, classic country, general "alternative".
Any input would be appreciated.
submitted by tdbutler to lgbt [link] [comments]


2018.11.10 09:19 JazzyFusion Attracted to opposite geeky/dorky unconventional men? [PART 3]

Okay, now it's time for Phase 3. Get ready. So in this part, I'm going to respond to posts from Part 2. Where I talk about me being gay a black feminine ghetto type guy, the fact I'm attracted to nerdy, geeky, goofy, I guess in some instances "bear" (ugh I hate that word) guys, I'm an alien and I need my fucking head examined and shit. Okay. Let's go.
Most of those "you have to be this to be in the gay world" aren't true. I'm not a lot of them and get along just fine with other gay people. Why is that?
Because you are more than likely an exception to the rule. I don't get involved in a lot of the instagram bullshit most gay guys go through. feeling jealous because of attractive looking men on instagram. I'm an exception in that case. As this is a common issue. Just because I don't experience, doesn't mean it's not an issue, it is. So just because my experiences haven't happened to you, doesn't mean it's not a pertinent issue, because it is.
You keep mentioning you're into bear-types, broseph, there are not only many, many sites full of those unconventional types, there are apps too.
I know that shit. I don't want to use that. 90 percent of those sites are for sex and sex only. Sites like biggercity, adam4adam, etc. These guys are more than likely for hookups and hookups only, curious straight men/married, or possibly creeps and jack the ripper serial killers. I have to keep it 100. Now with apps like grindr, tinder, . again are for guys that are styled to the 9's and perky and pretty. If you check part 1 you can see a recent picture of me. I don't look like the fish that people want to catch on those sites. Scruff is one dedicated to bears for bears. I guess I would consider myself a chaser, but not really. I'm not chasing anybody. I'm looking for love. But again Scruff has it's own set of rules, and I don't qualify under them. Are there people who have used sites/apps and found a success and a partner? Yes of course, but you have to be realistic and speak generally usually.
And they have a sub gaybears. There's a whole bear community dude. I'm part of it despite not being one and they accept me. Why is that? But I wont suggest you try that because I'm sure you have some excuse as to why you can't. You're not owed anything. Go work for it.
Because I don't like labelling guys after animals in the gay community. Bear, otter, cub, pup, dog, cat, etc. I'm not solely attracted to bears. Just more unconventional men. For example, I don't consider Casey Neistat a bear, at least not him in this picture.
But if you see shirtless pictures of him, he does have a gut, but I wouldn't consider him a "bear" though.
So that's the problem with this whole bear label. I just have a type and some guys in my type are considered a bear, sometimes they aren't. What about Chubby or Chunky guys? Are they still considered a bear? Again there you go, depending on who you talk to the answer is no.
Also, on dating apps, if a guy doesn't consider or wish to label himself a bear, (yourself included), he's not going to be on that bear app, or on scruff or growlr or what the fuck ever. So you see? So perhaps that wasn't the best advice or approach to give me. I know you mean well, but please.
Your constant mentioning of MTV shows, which are NOT REAL, makes me wonder (that is if you're not a troll in a cybertroll factory somewhere) about your grip on reality.
Not all MTV shows are fake. The point was reality tv for some people gives them an unscripted agenda of how people are. Relationships and dating are unscripted right? I'm just saying. Lots of people have found love and their spouse on shows like Love Connection, The Real World, The Bachelor, Big Brother etc. so knock that shit out.
Your instant defensiveness at the mildest critique makes me wonder how you're going to handle it when you get even mild bad reviews for your novel. PS you and a lot of other people need to grow up, critiques are not attacks.
Anyway 6/10. Feeling generous today because it's a Friday before a three day weekend. Good luck on your novel release.
This has nothing to do with my upcoming book release. My career and my relationships are two different things. Personal and business shouldn't be intertwined, but they sometimes are. But that's not the case. I do appreciate you wishing me well. I don't need luck, because I already wrote the story and it's finished and it's going to be released, but you can wish me well and support a fellow queer artist. Or not, it's your choice.
Being a fat nerdy libertarian-leaning white dude, I know exactly what you mean. Everybody always says to "wait for the right guy to come around" but he never comes, sometimes nobody at all comes. I've just deleted Tinder, Grindr, etc, because it's just hopeless.
Everybody wants an "LGBT community" until people you don't want in try to join.
I agree. Thank you.
Most gays need to stop and ask themselves, do I have a "type" or do I have a "fetish"...in your case an obsession.
Here we go. I was waiting for the, "you like white boys. You're such a faggoty whiny Snow Queen. You hate being black." etc. etc. post and response. There it is.
So what if I do have an obsession? So I'm supposed to die single? I wouldn't call it a fetish. For example, if you like Root Beer, do you fetish over Root Beer? No. It's just something you prefer to have and "obsess" over. Just when you go to the store to buy Root Beer. If they have Root Beer, you put the bottle in your basket and you're happy and feel better. If they don't have it, yeah you get angry and frustrated, but usually you don't fret and go to another store that has it. etc. You don't start throwing tantrums and fits because they don't have Root Beer. In the same token, you don't start somersaulting and doing Circus Soleil in the beverage aisle because they have Root Beer, and you start kissing the bottle and start making love to it. You see the difference between obsessing and fetishizing something?
Some people like Taco Bell. Some people like Pizza Hut. Some people like KFC. Some people like it all.
If I happen to like nerdy, goofy and square white guys, that's my business and my prerogative isn't it? Rupaul likes white men as well, and nobody, NOBODY AT ALL, says shit to him. Only because he's rich and famous (like I hope to be someday lol) it's okay. Yet because I'm a young, handsome, (I don't want to say intelligent or that educated because I'm not) lol, but I'll say optimistic and artistic, proud, gay black man, the fact I'm attracted to Bill Nye and Louis CK, that's an issue now? Okay. Fine whatever.
I'm not going to die single. I don't find Chadwick Boseman, Michael B. Jordan, Kendrick Lamar etc. attractive sexually. Are they handsome black men, yes they are very fine chocolate brothas they are. I happen to like white guys, and I feel that's okay.
I very seldom look at gay black porn. Why? Because I'm not attracted to black men like that. Most of the porn I look at is of white, redneck, average ordinary looking guys, because that's what I like.
The only rare exception to the rule are exceptions to the rule. I'm attracted to Vin Diesel, and he is supposedly black, (I'm going to need receipts) . but he looks racially ambiguous/white. So that's an exception to the rule.
Shindong from Super Junior. He's asian yes, but I'm attracted to him because he's kinda pudgy and chubby. That is an exception to the rule. Ordinarily I don't find asian men attractive. I do find feminine asian men like Gackt cute, and I love how beautiful they look, but as far as attraction, no.
Hispanic/Latino isn't a race. Usually that falls under White/Caucasian. Jewish. Falls under white typically. Middle Eastern/Eastern European guys. Again that falls under white, or it's an exception to the rule. So I think I have everything covered, and talked about exceptions to the rule.
You clearly are over-fantasizing being in an interracial relationship with a nerdy white guy and yes to me it's something you need to examine why. Whenever guys, especially POC, start idolizing other races, especially white guys my eyebrows are raised.
I disagree. So I'm supposed to not be happy. I'm supposed to start dating paperclips and safety pins, even though I don't find them attractive right? I'm supposed to be unhappy right? You should if anything commend my honesty, and the fact I'm not confused. As that's the first issue. Many gay men are confused and don't know what they want. If anything, the fact I'm asking for Joe Schmoe white guys, is something you should commend me for.
I could understand if I were saying, "He has to look like Mens Health and Fitness cover guy. Washboard abs, perfect biceps, perfect ass. If he doesn't look like Chris Pratt, and Harry Styles or Liam Hemsworth, he can kick rocks." No. Im' asking for guys which are ordinary, I don't ask for much, and don't want much. I'm not attracted to Abercrombie and Bitch type guys. I'm not attracted to stock Gap models, I'm not attracted to guys looking like they are about to audition for Belami productions lol. I'm sorry.
I'm not idolizing anybody. I know there are many asshole white men. White guys who refuse to acknowledge race, and their privilege. White guys that are racist and bigoted. White guys that are conservative and bigoted etc. I'm fully aware. But you know not all white men are like that, and the white guys that are like that, nobody is perfect. Being black, there are many bigoted black people as well. The fact I was a Steve Urkel/Childish Gambino black nerdy faggot. I was beat up, spat on, because I wasn't thug or gangster enough. So I have it worse from both sides. I had a cousin of mine who was into metal music and she was goth, and also attracted to white guys, our own family, her own damn cousins would talk so much shit to her behind her back, "She just likes white guys. She likes NSYNC and Backstreet Boys and New Kids On The Block. She likes white boys." This happens very often at black cookouts, and nobody talks about this shit. Smh.
At this point I'm following my heart and all that dismissive shit I'm not too worried about. Being a liberal, I guess it's the in thing, and the trend to hate white people, and I have nothing to say for that. I'm attracted to what I'm attracted to, and as an adult, I shouldn't be challenged for that.
You're come across as an incel dude. Just take a xanax and realize that no one owes you anything. I'm not sure what you even mean by "waiting patiently", waiting for what? The random white boy that you are owed? White dick isn't a right lmao.
I'm not an incel. In fact I'm the opposite. I'm first of all black and gay, so even if I wanted to be a fucking incel, I can't be. I want a boyfriend, and I'm willing to do everything but go on dating apps to find him. As I feel most gay dating sites don't work out. There are more compatible dating sites and matchmaking services online for straight people I've researched. I'm willing to look for love, but if there isn't any love out there, why bother. I have to try a different approach. If Logo/MTV did a second season of "Finding Prince Charming" and changed the rules so the show doesn't suck, I'll sign up for that. I've gone to speed dating events in the past etc. They didn't work out, but it was a good learning experience.
Gay A is the guy you go for. Hopefully he likes you back.
Guy B is someone you have no interest in, and has no interest in you, and he's going LOLOLOLOLOL at this whole thing.
Are you acquiescing to guy B? Does guy A simply not like you back? If not, is it due to either literal personal preference or because he's also acquiescing to guy B?
You seem to think there's a conspiracy against you and everyone who isn't you is being either shamed or mind controlled into a certain way of thinking/acting. Fuck that. I don't find you attractive because I don't find you attractive. Not because "the man" told me what's attractive and what isn't. It's the same as you.
But you have to admit, people in general follow trends. In some way or another or for some instance or another. If you are liberal, and your partner is conservative, or if that person isn't wealthy/noble enough to be with you, or they aren't the same race/culture/religion as you etc. Your friends/family from your same circuit will of course tell you to stop seeing this person. This could be the person of your dreams, but most people do follow the actions of their family and acknowledge their wishes.
Or, yes you could say fuck that and elope with this person. In turn you are disowned from your family, or in this case the gay community/culture.
Many gay men hookup through networking, like typically most straight people do. "Hey I know Christopher is single, I'm going to set up him with Alex. They seem like they will make a cute couple." etc. Stuff like this happens almost like second nature in the gay community. The thing of it is, these guys are typically plastic and trendy. If you are fat, nerdy, socially inept, not having muscles or in shape, feminine, too urban or ghetto, a twink, trailer trash, too alternative or anything other than what you typically assume a normal gay man to be, etc, you can pretty much forget it.
This whole, I'm going to pull up an app on my phone to find a boyfriend, is relatively new and it's not anything guaranteed.
Then you go onto the gay clubs and bars, and it's a mirror effect. The same rules apply. You get in where you fit in, if you can't beat them, join them. If you can't handle the heat, get out of the kitchen etc. So that's why I have to kindly disagree with you. Gay men do follow trends, and you have every right not to follow a trend, like you'll be not invited to gay events because you're not attractive enough, and you will not be allowed past the velvet rope, because you decided not to follow the gay mafia and gay agenda the way they wanted you to.
If some gay couple wants to pull off some beauty and the beast shit, more power to them. People tend to date around their own level of attractiveness. If you're kinda ugly, and you like kinda ugly people, then you're in luck. I'm sorry if kinda ugly people are passing you up for a chance at someone more attractive because they have illusions of grandeur.
What's your definition of ugly/homely? I don't consider myself ugly. I think I'm a very handsome young black man. However to the gay community, I am extremely ugly, I'm a jiggaboo nigger that needs to cut my hair (as I do have my hair in an afro as I have plans to style my hair in the future. I was going to have dreads, but I changed my mind, even though dreads are nice and a good style.) So it's all dismissive.
People dating around their own level of attractiveness, is not true. For the most part even the most ugliest of ugly straight men, want a drop dead gorgeous girl. Despite him being ugly, if she likes the way his dick looks/his attitude and manhood, if she likes the way his bank account looks, if she likes how strong his sperm and cum is to produce kids, and if she likes how much of father and provider he is, Jessica Rabbit is going to marry obese ass slouchy Peter Griffin. I'm sorry.
It's way easier for women to become swan's from ugly ducklings, than it is for a toad man to become prince. Why does a toad need to be a prince anyways? A man can be ugly all he wants, women need to primp themselves and look sexy etc. As men aren't judged on their looks as women are. But all a woman needs to do is dress not like a ho or slut or streetwalker, but like a lady, probably find a good makeup routine, have a hairstyle which fits her right, and she's going to find a guy in her standards. Plastic surgery, implants are an option as well, but not every woman wants to be a thot, so that's an exception.
There is no equivalent to that in the gay world though. It's a completely different set of rules that apply.
The only part where I agree with you, is whether or not ugly should be a refined term. So because a girl that's a librarian looks goofy and homely and she's nerdy, and if she ends up with a man covered head to toe in tattoos and body mods, he's ugly as well? That's bullshit. The homely librarian girl probably doesn't see an ugly man, and is attracted to freaky unconventional carnival sideshow looking men, and the guy with tattoos and body mods despite his outward appearance, is not an asshole and prefers natural looking women as opposed to Maxim or Sports Illustrated bimbo looking girls etc. So you see.
It's very rare that people lower their standards, because why should they? It's why you have these ugly mad scientist looking doctors and professors, with Pamela Anderson looking wives. Because these men deserve to be selective like that, and that's the type of women they prefer. Why buy a cow, when you can get milk for free right?
So that was part 3, to where I defend some of the posts people gave. I await to continue this discussion if more people wish to refute or ask anymore questions related to this. Thank you.
BTW Please sub to my youtube channel. I have made videos on similar topics in the gay community on this issue, and I have other fun stuff on my channel as well. Appreciate it.
submitted by JazzyFusion to askgaybros [link] [comments]


2016.02.27 12:55 Onmymind42 I'd like to propose a new challenge - body positivity!

This one might be even harder than the last one -- what if we do a "Body Positivity" challenge? For everyone! I've seen posts here from all genders mentioning how they don't always feel as sexy as they'd like or they don't believe their partners when they say they are attractive. The only way to fix that it by fixing our own views of our bodies. I've been kind of working on this on my own, so I thought it might make for a fun (and less sexually strenuous) challenge. Anyone interested?
EDIT: looks like we're ON! Post your goals here. Think of things you can do to help you be more comfortable IN YOUR CURRENT BODY. I will make a check in thread as well, but post goals here.
To quote user lulubites :"You don't have to have a hot body to have incredible sex. You do have to love your body though. Once you discover that your body is awesome exactly as it is then you set yourself free to have a beautiful sex life."
Edit 2 -- Gone Wild Subs Friends of /BHMGoneWild (stolen from their sidebar) /chubbydudes - for guys who are only a little big /GoneMildPlus - For those who want to show off, but not naked show off. Brought to you by our own ChubbyViking. /Gonewildplus -for girls you might like & couples, our Sister Sub! /LadybonersGW -for smaller guys /Beardporn -for fans of face fuzz /Chesthairporn -slightly less NSFW /Gaybears -if you're looking for a male audience /penis -if you want to show just the goodies /BBWGW -for a mirror image of this subreddit
submitted by Onmymind42 to sexover30 [link] [comments]


2013.11.01 22:00 Bigbroqc scarf Help? possible commission?

Hey guys, I have been on the search for a Horizontally striped scarf done like the colors of the Gaybear Pride Flag. I love the pallet and cant get enough of the community. Unfortunately i have no clue how to crochet or knit. Here is one somebody made for their partner, that was posted to gaybears, http://i.imgur.com/VV1FtgI.jpg
I was Wondering if any of you can help :) Pm me if you might be interested. Thanks!
submitted by Bigbroqc to crochgay [link] [comments]


2013.03.28 22:19 stylishg33k Just took over a sub reddit /r/chasers, a place for like minded individuals who admirer BBW or BHM.

So I took over the /chaser subreddit and want to make it a safe place for chasers of all sexual identities and gender expressions. The goal is to create a place similar to /gaybros and /gaybears where you can post pics of that's what you like, or talk about issues you may be encountering do to your dating and/or partner choices.
I hope for it to become an all inclusive space for chasers like myself, and since I know there is a large chasechub community within the LGBTA community, I thought I'd let you all know :)
submitted by stylishg33k to ainbow [link] [comments]


2012.03.23 05:17 tabledresser [Table] I am a 23yr male with a rare disorder called Cutis marmorata telangiectatica congenita and extreme body asymmetry. AMA

Verified? (This bot cannot verify AMAs just yet)
Date: 2012-03-22
Link to submission(Has self-text)
Link to my post
Questions Answers
To 4chan? Now I just think you're a masochist lol. I bet it cost a lot to purchase a wheelbarrow large enough to carry your gigantic balls. Honestly they are not as bad as you would think. I posted to /soc/ not /b/ so radically different people. That was actually a really fun thread that lasted a good couple days and inspired a lot of people to stop complaining about things for all of about 5 minutes. I even got my own chan name from them. To me thats about as much respect as you can get from 4chan.
I saw that thread, you posted your cock too. Its 4chan. You have to post your cock.
Holy fuck, I'll never be able to call you by your name anymore. Aww you can call me whatever you want.
Is it weird that I'm curious as to what it looks like? For science, of course. Its already posted on here. Look around for it!
Does that mean half of your penis is larger than the other half? If so, by how much? Yeap sure does. Why its hard to see because of foreskin and such if you feel it you can tell where it bulges more on the left side. The length however is only off by maybe a couple millimeters.
This just takes the bizarre factor to a whole new level. I am very sorry if this sentence offends you. That the body is typically so "precise" that the penis can be affected like this is astounding. No offence at all man. Its pretty freaky but yeah straight down the middle. Its pretty amazing.
When you get a boner does it hurt? I can imagine the big side getting bigger than the small side and making it bend or something. Nope not at all. It works pretty well and cant say i have ever had any serious complaints about it from others.
Yo baby you want the thick side or thin side tonight? Damnit i laughed at this more than i should have. Props to you.
I bet the ladies at very least want it in them to figure out how it feels hahahahahah wish I had curiousity on my side.... Props. The second girl I was with ended up playing with it for about 10 minutes just saying whoa. Im sure it feels a bit different.
Just curious, are you still using any drugs at all? No not anymore. I think in the past four years its been maybe two pipes and a tab of x? I pretty much stopped. Just not for me anymore.
Not an insult, but if you can get laid with your condition, than the theory that it just takes the right amount of confidence and personality has been completely confirmed. No insult at all. Really so long as you can be comfortable with yourself its just finding someone.
Using this line again but really. No matter what you look like, Someone will find it interesting enough to fuck.
I feel terrible for asking this but how did you possibly get a girl, let alone more than one with your condition? Confidence and just being a decent person. Basically it comes down to this. No matter what you look like, Someone will find it interesting enough to fuck.
Just wanted to say you are fucking awesome and I greatly appreciate you posting this. Until this point I had no idea this sort of condition even existed. Good luck with everything in the future, but it sounds like you're doing well already. Cheers, bro. Thank you very much! Hope you enjoy reading.
Bullshit, I look amazing and am only 48% douche, yet I still struggle to find partners. Of course, it doesn't help that I meet roughly 2 people a year. Well get out and meet more people then!
So true, a girlfriend of mine is way into amputees and little people, and various other deformities. A guy we know has a third nipple and she's been hot for him for years, lol. Well if she ever becomes your ex you let me know.
Excellent attitude, and you're right. Mae West used to say "a man can be short, fat, and balding, but if he has fire, women will love him" Sounds like you've got a lot of fire in you. Thats pretty much the attitude to have. I try my best.
How do you deal with the clothes issue? I just buy for the left side. For the most part i wear dickies work shirts and jeans. As odd as it sounds i buy urban labels as they actually fit me a heck of a lot better.
Http://i.imgur.com/GLYPS.jpg typical day of dress.
Wow. Honestly If I saw you on the street, I would never be able to tell. Maybe some mild suspicion on "that guy looks a little weird." Thats why i dress the way i do. A lot easier than trying to explain to everyone you meet.
What about shoes? Are your feet the same size? I could wear a smaller shoe on my right foot but thats more money than i would want to spend so i wear the same and just pad the right shoe a tiny bit so my toes arnt flopping about.
It's nice to see a couple of dudes feel comfortable with a "you're looking good, bro". It's a nice day today. I find that there really isnt any reason two dudes couldnt say they look good.
Agreed, you look both normal and attractive based on societal norms and preferences of north america - Congratulations on your effort. Sadly I must say that even in north america no one loves fat dudes. Though normal yeah.
Im just gonna upvote... all of this I think. Well thank you for the upvotes! Here is one for you!
Not gonna lie, I prefer my men chubsy, they're way better for cuddles and tend to be less douchey (no offense to any slim non douchebags, I know you exist) My god I am a cuddle whore. I dont care who you are just get over here and cuddle while we watch crappy scifi. Dont know why just something i really enjoy. Sexual or not.
Not trying to be a dick but has anyone ever called you Biggie Smalls? Well my dream was to become a rapper and use that name but sadly that was already taken.
Which side does your wang resemble? The big leg, of the little leg? Honest answer. See for yourself: penis
For those who do not click its just a pretty average sized penis with too much foreskin. It works for me.
You have won IAMA. A picture of your fucking dick. Awesome. Just awesome. Wait do other people not post pictures of their dick? What about that aziz guy?
I don't know what I expected. Im not sure if there could have been any more warning.
I'm a straight guy. It's a penis. It sure is buddy. It sure is.
I was quite curious about this too, and surprised to see that you actually answered with a pic. Looks pretty normal to me, and I've seen a lot of them, haha. Thank you. I hope there is someone out there who has been researching this for their whole career and never found a living person with it and somehow they find this thread. One can dream.
It takes major balls to do something like this. Props to you (not just for the pic, but the whole AMA), and I hope you find the specialist you're looking for. And yeah its pretty normal. Works pretty good and never had any complaints about it. Its not the biggest but I have learned to use my mouth pretty damn well so it evens out.
That was a ballsy move posting a picture of your dick on reddit, but it seems like you make no bones about it. Just my penis.
I am SO curious. But not curious enough to click on that link. I'm fairly disappointed with myself. Dooooo eeeeeeeeeeeet
My friend was demanding that I PM you and offer naked pictures of myself to get you to show us your dick... she's drunk so thanks for helping me avoid a ridiculous argument. No problem! Though ill stick take the naked pics...
Hey man, I'll take some of that foreskin for you. They stole mine when I was baby. :( thats sucks bro. Ill gladly donate some to you.
Yup, /gaybears would still be all over that. ALL OVER IT. Might just have to make a visit...
Too much foreskin in your opinion, but a gold mine to a person who is really into foreskin. There's a lid for every pot. That is very true.
Lots and lots of upvotes for yoooou. Like so many others have said, thanks for this AMA! Very educational, witty and interesting. :) Thank you. Glad you have enjoyed it.
Aziz probably can't compete with your girthy member. I now know what im going to tell someone famous that has done an AMA.
"So i posted my dick why didnt you?"
I was secretly hoping for a picture of some cuddly corgi puppies. I think thats what we all hope for.
Is your tongue or any of you internal organs smaller on one side? Like a bigger lung on one side? Or does it just affect skeletal muscle? Left side of tounge is larger than the right as well. It doesnt seem to be longer but its definatly thicker.
Where and how do you meet women? First girl i met was through a group i was a part of. Waaaaaay outta my league but she liked me. It ended because i was a fucking moron who latched on to the first thing that showed interest in me but now we are damn good friends and i have amazing memories of her.
How many relationships have you had? Second was through work.
What was your longest one? No real long term relationships yet but i dont mind much. Im sure there is someone out there who will find me and such.
He was talking about your dick. I know ;)
"If you can make a girl laugh, you can make a girl do anything" -Marilyn Monroe. This is more true than people seem to realize.
I have never heard of this before. So you haven't seen a specialist, does that mean that you self diagnosed? (not questioning your diagnosis) Also, what is you reason for not seeing a specialist? You seem fairly open about your condition on here. No i was diagnosed as a baby but after age 12 due to various reasons and such i never saw a doctor again. Besides my pediatrician I am not sure if there even is a specialist that deals with stuff like this.
A brother welder, nice to meet you. I'm a Boilermaker in the 906... Non union welding atv and utv frames. I couldnt work for a union again. I was a teamster in high school and got fucked pretty good.
Would you consider seeing a specialist now that you are older? I'm pretty sure SOMEONE out there knows this stuff.... Also, I wasn't assuming that you would want to see a specialist for looks, I was meaning more for your long-term health! Oh I sure would see someone if i could find someone. Im actually damn afraid of what could go wrong with me. Being a fairly rare thing who knows what could go wrong.
Although, now that I think about it, looks might be something you would be interested in talking to them about. If i could find some young doctor who wanted to make something of his career by publishing an exciting new topic and not charging me for it I would be all over it.
Please don't judge all unions by the Teamsters. The Laborers and Steelworkers unions where I work do great by the workers. Oh im sure. They just left a really bad taste in my mouth. But the company i work for now takes care of us for non union factory work. Im not against unions just have been able to get along just dandy without em.
Does this condition effect your eyes? (is your left eye larger?) If so, can you see bettefarther with your large eye? The left eye is a tiny bit bigger but the vision is the same in both.
How did this affect your upbringing and your romantic life? I grew up hating myself for a very long time. On top of looking like i do i grew up white in heavy heavy heavy hispanic neighborhoods. I never had friends for a long time and was pretty much a social outcast.
It wasnt until highschool when i met gothkids and found a group that loves freaks that i actually had friends and learned to accept myself for what i look like. These days im very comfortable with things and have a good assortment of friends.
Romantic wise though its a little slow. I didnt lose my virginity till i was 20 and still have a hard time getting close to people in a physical setting. I have had a couple good relationships on both sides of the gender aisle but never anything serious.
Dude 20 is not that late to lose your virginity... hell you're doing way better than a larger percentage of the people on here. That's true. Considering for the longest time i didnt think i would ever have a chance with anyone i guess im doing okay.
I personally think 20 is a perfectly appropriate age to lose your v card. You're doing a lot better than lot of Redditors. :P. I try. Same as on the threads I made on 4chan. I did it. You can too!
I love it that you gave props to the gothic community. We are all outcasts with emotional scars, so most of us are very willing to give everyone a chance. Freaks we are... All of us. Much love. They are some great people. Some bad apples same with any other group but as a whole a great group of people.
"-I have had a couple good relationships on both sides of the gender aisle but never anything serious. " Are you bi then? I am.
Oh no, I'm a tramp. Lost it to my HS boyfriend at 18. :O YOU HUSSY! /s.
Are you two people that were fused as embryos? God I hope not. That would be a bit too creepy even for my standards.
You should tell people that's what happened though. Say that your two sides are vying for dominance and then change voices and shout at yourself. If i ever go crazy i hope its like that.
Hey, I work in Genetic Medicine at a university medical school. I can scout around for some literature tomorrow, see if I can find anything you might find useful? That would be awesome, thank you very much. If you need any specific information feel free to PM me.
No worries. I might forget so feel free to prompt me. It's so easy for us to see papers and reports that it's kind if sad to realise that this stuff doesn't always get to those who might need it! Well if you forget its no big deal. It would be nice to know if there has been anything published on it though.
Has there been any evidence that people with Cutis marmorata telangiectatica congenita and extreme body asymmetry have a shorter life expectancy than the average person? Are organs largesmaller? Does this affect your heart at all? lungs? Or subject to increased risk of disease or anything? I hope this isn't too personal. No idea. I havent been able to find any study about anyone with it older than myself. I know that my lung is larger than the other. Im not sure on other things such as kidneys or intestines and the such but im sure they are. I have an increased risk of ulcerations on my legs which is something that i am currently dealing with. I have had a wound which has yet to heal fully after nearly two years. Not a damn thing i can really do about it except wait.
Almost no such thing as too personal in this thing. Im here to answer what people ask to the best of my ability.
Wouldn't an asymmetrical brain fuck shit up? Maybe maybe not.
I mean, if your non-healing wound has something to do with your condition then I don't know how this would work. But for a little while a while back, I worked for a company that makes synthetic living skin that grows onto you and heals your pervasive wounds. Fucking science, right? Holy shit thats awesome. Thanks for that link. Im going to see if i can get me some of that science.
Have you been tested for diabetes? May be a part of why your wound won't heal. I have and thankfully so far i do not have it.
Does your smaller side get fatigued earlier than your larger side due to the muscle and bone differences? also, has the condition gotten more or less exaggerated with age? thanks :) Not really. I work with both my hands so they stay pretty even in terms of endurance.
The skin has stayed pretty much the same since puberty. The asymmetry though has gotten a bit worse especially as i have been working towards losing weight which has only seemed to have been lost from the right side.
That's crazy that the weight only gets lost from the right side. Does working out to build muscle help make the asemetery better or do the small bone structure make it impossible to ever get it to match better? As far as i can tell i will never be able to get it to match. Just bone size alone will keep it at odd sizes. I tried to get a picture of my neck to show the difference in just the collar bone and shoulder height but cant seem to get one right.
I'm glad to hear you don't let this disorder ruin your life. It's not easy pulling yourself out of depression to improve your life. Really think someone needs to write a book that is given out to all 13 year old titled "the next 5 years are going to fucking suck. Enjoy!" that explains that once you get out of high school things are better.
Do you jerk off with your big hand or your small hand? I switch off every now and then. sometimes you have to keep clicking and hard to do with the left hand.
Do you have to buy two different shoe sizes? If so, what size is each foot? No 14EE on both feet. waste of money to buy two different sized shoes. otherwise i could get away with a 12 on the right.
Is one side of you taller than the other, or just more girthy? The left side for a long time was taller but i had a surgery when i was 12 that removed an inch of bone from my femur and put in staples on the growth plates of the tibula and fibula to slow down the growth for them to even out. For a long time there was a 3 inch difference in length.
Could you get like half your body liposuctioned so the difference isn't so great? Was that fucking retarded? It seemed fucking retarded. Cost a lot of money that i dont feel like spending on that. It would help the fat layer but the muscle and bone would still keep it uneven.
No stupid questions here.
We have a TV programover here in the UK called 'embarrassing bodies' it's a bit of a misnomer as you shouldn't be embarrassed but it's a good, medically accurate (it's presented by three doctors), informative and entertaining show. Have you heard of it? I believe they are in America, thought of applying to appear on it? @doctorchristian is one of the presenters if you wanted to look him up on twitter? Sadly out of principal I dont use twitter but if you want to tweet him this thread I would love to hear from them if i cannot get ahold of them on email.
How does this condition affect clothes shopping? Do you have to have things specially tailored or are you able to find things in regular stores? Thanks for being so brave with the full body shots, too. It really gives more information about what you're dealing with! Doesnt really affect shopping for clothings. As i said in another post i tend to buy a litte bigger than i need as it helps hide fairly easily. This is a typical day of dress for me. Link to i.imgur.com
Does this affect your balance at all? I cant balance on my right leg at all. Like not even close to even pretending to be able to.
Wow, look at how this thing took off! How great. I'm glad you got to share your story with so many people! Told ya you should try again! ;) Ya glad i did it again. Thanks for coming by to read it!
No problem! Be sure to do an update if you end up seeing a specialist or anything, I find this so interesting! :) I sure will!
Why have you never seen a specialist to see if there is treatment? Never found one. Only 200 reported cases according to wikipedia, so finding a specialist is a bit hard.
As someone in the dental field, I gotta ask whether the teeth in the 2 right quadrants are radically different from the teeth in the 2 left quadrants. Also, does it likewise affect your tongue? Shameful answer.
I havent been to a dentist since 12. I had a bit of a terrifying experience and am now a total pansy when it comes to someone putting their hand in my mouth. As far as i know my teeth are where they are supposed to be in my mouth but honestly I cant answer this one for you.
Though I can say that the left side of my tongue is larger than the right same with jawline and skull.
Is there any reason that you haven't seen a dentist or doctor in over a decade? For both medical and dental problems, prevention is always much easier than dealing with pain after the fact. For the dentist when you have a 90 year old man with his hands in your mouth go and die on you. Well you tend to be scared for life on that. I try and keep on my teeth by brushing, flossing and the like but i know i really need to get some work done. Also I dont have dental insurance and up here in rural minnesota there isnt much in the way of low cost health care.
when you have a 90 year old man with his hands in your mouth go and die on you I will never forgive my father for making me go to his childhood dentist.
Um. Sex life? Three partners, two women one man. Women were waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay out of my league but somehow it happened. Guy was right in my league.
Sex life is not active but when i can get over my issues and get close enough to someone it happens.
Who's your favorite fictional detective? Dick Tracy.
My brain can't comprehend this... It's like.. You're fat and fit at the same time. It's.. brain keeps malfunctioning. I just wonder, what would happen if you got fit? I would be swarming with women so much that minnesota would sink from the weight and cause catastrophic damages to the earth.
Your face looks unaffected. Is it? How about your eyes/vision? Thanks for this AMA. No right down the middle as well the left side of my skull is larger than the right. Its a bit less noticeable when you look at it, but if you were to feel my head then its very very noticeable.
What's worse? Living with the disease, or trying to remember how to spell it? Just kidding of course. Sorry for your misfortune. It must take a lot of courage on a daily basis. I hope things improve for you. Hell 23 years later i still cant even pronounce it.
A friend of mine said your tummy looked like a sad elephant. I laughed, hopefully you will too. I giggled.
How much of your life is this condition? Is there ever a day where you don't think about it at all? I dont really put much effort into thinking about it anymore. If someone brings it up i tell them. If im getting close to someone i warn them ahead of time and let them decide if they are comfortable with it or not but it doesnt take up much of my thoughts.
So which side is the evil side? Well the right side touches me a lot...
When did these irregularities in your body start to manifest themselves? have they always been around or did it develop as you were growing? Right from birth there was a noticable difference. As i got older it became more pronounced until i am how i am today.
I once met a girl at Spring Break Cancun who had an asymmetry - Her body was freckled on the left side and completely clear on the right, in an exactly perfect line down the middle of her body. She was gorgeous and I did not ask about it. But your AMA made me think about her - have you ever heard of your "disorder" displaying itself like this? Or is this something completely different? Well really i havent heard much about my disorder anywhere. Its a fairly rare thing. But if my body can do what it doesnt im sure a body can do half freckled as well.
I would like to start by saying that I have the utmost respect for you for doing this. But I imagine that people could be quite cruel about your condition, especially when you were growing up. How did/do you deal with that? In the photo you posted of your everyday clothes you kinda just look like a slightly overweight man, but do you ever go to the beach/pool? What do you wear there? And do people stare? Thank you :) I was a recluse as a kid for the most part. I was never confrontational about it and just sort of sulked away. It was just the easiest way to deal with it.
I do go every now and then and i just give no fucks about it. Worst that happens is someone points and stares. Doesnt bother me anymore.
Left handed or Right Handed? If your left side is larger, does that mean its stronger or just...bigger...? Meaning, if you got really angry, you would want to kick someone in their symmetrical balls with your left leg. Right handed though there is a lot i do with my left still. My left side is stronger than the right. Im not sure on arms but i know on leg press my left leg can do about 3x what the right can.
I try not to get angry but yeah if i wanted to kick someone it would be with the left. The crates at work have felt my wrath before when they didnt want to collapse correctly.
Thanks for sharing. Do you have any photos of you as a kid that you could share? I'm waiting on my dad to send me some. I have no photos myself.
Your nether bits you say? Could we see a pic FOR SCIENCE? They are already on here. Go look! Itll be fun.
Damn it I'm late but have you ever considered being a nude model at an art school? It would be pretty interesting to draw someone with an asymmetrical body and tattoos like that. Actually I have had someone contact me asking to model. I sent off some poses and wished her the best. If anyone else would like to they are free to contact me as well!
Awesome back tattoo. I don't know much about this or i'd have advice on a specialist. If there's any question i'd like to ask, how's life? Best wishes and thanks for the awesome AMA. Life is pretty good. I have a good job, decent friends, my own place and can afford to take care of myself more or less. How is yours?
Silly question, do you have circulation problems? I am just wondering about how the heart handles the differences in the different sizes of arteries. I do in a bit in my toes but i dont know if thats from breaking them every five minutes or from this.
What everyday activity would you say is most difficult or awkward because of your condition? Also, I commend your confidence in sharing this with us :) Nothin is really too difficult. I have to concentrate on my walking if I want to keep my gait even.
Does this condition make lying on your stomach uncomfortable while sleeping etc? Nope not at all. Just like laying on a beanbag chair
What do you wear in hot weather? Same thing year round. I don't wear shorts.
Just wanted to say that it takes a lot of balls for anyone to put their picture up on Reddit - let alone, when someone has a medical condition. Props, wally. Talk about "not a single f*ck was given" Ill give ya one better there. I posted this same thread, more or less, to 4chan last week. I just have learned to accept myself and an okay with sharing with whoever wants to know.
Last updated: 2012-03-26 22:58 UTC
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